


Alfie Sick Headcannons

by Higgles123



Series: Peaky Blinders and Tom Hardy Character Headcannons and Alphabets [23]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hypochondria, Illness, Sickness, domestic alfie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28390155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123
Series: Peaky Blinders and Tom Hardy Character Headcannons and Alphabets [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971034
Kudos: 9





	Alfie Sick Headcannons

Alfie Solomons is a terrible patient. The worst in fact. He’s also a crazy hypochondriac. He gets a headache and he’s scouring every medical journal convincing himself it’s a brain tumour and not just the fact that he hasn’t had a drink for about four hours. Slight tickle in his throat? Anaphylaxis. Hurt his arm lifting something in the factory... nope he’s having a heart attack.

  


* The hospital know him on first name terms and as soon as he walks in, the receptionist on duty rolls her eyes before claiming £10 from the triage nurse on duty because she had bet that Alfie would be here before the day was out.

  


* The nurse gives him the once over and is happy to reassure Alfie that the pain in his chest and stomach is in fact indigestion and he’s not in cardiac arrest but Alfie isn’t satisfied until he’s seen someone more senior and in his words “someone who doesn’t look like they’ve just come out of nappies”. With a polite if not strained smile the nurse goes to get the doctor who repeats the same things but runs some extra tests just to put Alfie’s mind at rest. Alfie will pull out pieces of paper stating that he thinks he’s got some sort of tropical disease despite having been nowhere remotely tropical, well in less you count Margate as tropical. He once even when to the doctor because he thought he had something called Turner Syndrome and refused to listen when the doctor explained that not only did he not have one single symptom but also that the syndrome he was referring to exists exclusively in females.

  


* Now when Alfie’s not constantly thinking up imaginary complaints, he does occasionally come down with a very serious illness known as Man Flu. You see his children are so so kind and just loving sharing their colds with him! Alfie will lie in bed and proclaim that he is dying. He’ll have Ollie come by and run through his will to make sure everything’s up to date and he’ll give him a Don Corleone style speech about family and honour from his “death bed”.

  


* His wife will be losing her mind, and the poor woman is usually full of cold herself as well looking after their children who are all poorly too. Alfie has a little bell that he rings when he needs something and he will ring it for everything; “I’m hot” “I’m cold” “I’m hungry” “I’m thirsty” “I feel sick” “I’ve been sick” “I need the toilet” “I need a cuddle” “I feel sad” “I’m scared of dying” “the kids are being too noisy” “why are the kids being so quiet?”... the list of reasons goes on and on.

  


* When he’s sick there is only one thing Alfie will eat and that’s chicken soup. But it absolutely cannot be from a tin and nor can it be from one of the neighbours or even Ollie’s mum. No his poor wife has to make it because according to Alfie if she doesn’t make it then it won’t help him the same.

  


* Once Alfie recovers, he takes a few days to make sure he’s absolutely most definitely alright and then once he’s back out in society he will regale anyone and everyone with tales of just how close he was to death while his wife just rolls her eyes and mutters that one day she can really make death a reality if he wants.

  


* All in all, Alfie is terrible to be around when he’s sick. He’s a walking, well sleeping, nightmare.


End file.
